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Risque Stuff

At the risk of encouraging conspicuous consumption, having some risqué items around can perk up your life considerably.

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  1. Juli Ashton Mugs for Camera

    aRB Travel Mug

    This is a blue travel mug that keeps your coffee hot or your tea cold. It features the risqué logo, and if anyone recognizes it when they see you, well, it may lead to interesting conversations.

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  2. a Risque Business Knife

    a Risque Business Knife

    Grand Poobah’s Hoopla: In brief order, befitting this introduction area after all, you should be aware of the keen value held by a Risqué Business knife on a porn shoot. In addition to the small, but mighty blade for opening packages of new sex toys, the knife also has little scissors for cutting tags off of lingerie. Equally important in some circumstances, it has a nail file that actually works, because, let’s be honest, in some sexual situations, having sharp nails can be a definite bummer, killing the mood faster than a broken condom — or thinking about your mom. It also has a remarkably efficient pair of tweezers tucked into a slot in the back, perhaps not critical in most lives, but pretty darned important if they’re going to record every aspect of your body in high definition soon — and then keep it on the internet forever.

    Analysis by Just Plum Nom

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  3. a Risque Sweat Shirt

    a Risque Sweat Shirt

    Old-School heavyweight sweat shirts with the modern standard for “in the know” emblazoned proudly on the breast — above the heart, naturally. … You can find a lot of cheap sweat shirts online, but you have to look around a lot to find quality this high. And you can only find ones with the wildly popular “Risqué Logo” here. You can keep your own business risqué while still maintaining the subtlety that marks a superior mind (and we say that with not the least little bit of humility, by the way). If you understand the concept of favorite old sweat shirt, then you’ll know where to get another one to start the process of those many, many washing. How you get them dirty, well, that would be up to you.

    (T.J. Hart, Kristal Summers, and Dee not included. Yeah: Bummer. We know.)

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  4. a Risque Denim Shirt

    a Risque Denim Shirt

    Unlike most of us, Denim gets better with age. Consequently a Risqué Denim shirt must therefore at least keep our outward appearance improving. Right? … The Risqué Denim Shirt demonstrates a commitment to youthful vigor in a time-honored classic representation of core Americana. Wearing a Risqué Denim Shirt, therefore, provides a vital link in the global economy and evidences a committment to the ultimate value in the lessons of history itself. Should individuals dedicate their wardrobes to include only Risqué Denim Shirts, in fact, conflicts of any kind would simply cease to exist. … Or maybe they’re just really, really comfortable. … That could be it.

    (Dee and T.J. Hart not included. We suck. We know.)

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